The Ten Commandments of FF7
by Leviathan's Dirge
Summary: To be Cloud, Kadaj, Yuffie, Vince, and so on. Reviews and constructive criticism are welcomed. Mainly all in the title.
1. Cloud

_Disclaimer: Nope, i still don't own it (sadly). If i did, there would be a re-make by now. Actually, there would be several seeing as i would re-do 8 & 9 also. Anyway..._

_A.N: I do not mean to steal anything, as these type of things are all over the internet. These came from my head, honest.  
_

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The Ten Commandments of: Cloud

1.Thou must have gravity defying hair.

2.Thou must be stuck in a love triangle.

3.Thy must ask Tifa out in thou own way.

4.Thy must wield the 7 swords of kickass.

5.Thy must be extremely over emotional, but rarely ever show it.

6.Thou must never be simple. Even when simple is the easiest thing.

7.Thou must loathe ShinRa.

8.Thy must love adopted orphan children.

9.Thy must own a pimped out motorcycle.

10.Thou must defeat Sephiroth over, and over, and over, and over, and over…

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_If i do get a few good reviews, i will continue this. All suggestions will be counted, but please PM them to me. If you don't, your suggestion could end up as a spoiler. Reviews are most welcome, as always. And check some of my other stuff, i could use some more reviews. You review me, i reveiw you. Later,_

**_Dirge_**


	2. Kadaj

_Disclaimer: Still no... Sadly_

_A.N: I seemed to have failed mentioning that i hope that this doesn't offend anyone. I am Catholic, so i don't mean to offend anyone's faith, if this does. But there are several of these things out there, so it shouldn't be much of a problem, i don't think. Enjoy!_

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The Ten Commandments of: Kadaj

1.Thy must wear skintight clothing.

2.Thy must have 2 amazing brothers.

3.Thy must have cool silver hair.

4.Thou must start a calamity for thy 'mother'.

5.Thou must show off thy skills for everyone.

6.Thou must grow emotional over a box with green goo.

7.Thou must kill the 'black sheep'.

8.Thou must know how to create Geostigma.

9.Thy must be a leader.

10.Thou must learn to harass Cloud, with Sephiroth.

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_I need a few idea's i think, for Vincent. He's next! That shmexy man! Thanks and please review,_

**_Dirge_**


	3. Yuffie

_Disclaimer: No way man. If you want a disclaimer, check the first few chaps. I don't want to do these anymore for this fic.  
_

_A.N. I would like to thank Brocky for the some suggestions of Yuffie, Vincent and Tifa, which i will and have happily used. Thank you few that have reviewed, it is appreciated. _

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The Ten Commandments of: Yuffie

1.Thy must know how to steal from innocent travelers. (They're not so innocent).

2.Thou must annoy Vincent, at all costs.

3.Thou must save Vincent, at every opportunity. (Stalker!)

4.Thy must get caught up in parachutes (almost).

5.Thy must act sugar high, constantly. (Mmm, sugar.)

6.Thou must hate thy father, Godo.

7.Thy must despise airships.

8.Thy must not like ShinRa, (or Zack for that matter.)

9.Thy must have cool ninja boots.

10.Thou shouldn't have had eggs for breakfast.


	4. Tifa

_A.N: I surprisingly have nothing to say, besides the fact that gummy bears taste really bad. YUCK!  
_

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The Ten Commandments of: Tifa

1.Thy must be overly modest.

2.Thou must wear skintight clothing.

3.Thou must adopt little orphan children with an open heart.

4.Thy must know the rules of martial kickass.

5.Thou must love a guy who loves a dead chick.

6.Thy must know how to make Cloud better.

7.Thy must have to put up with Cloud.

8.Thou must be a good mother to her little orphans, and even her adult friends.

9.Thou must know how to hurt drunks.

10.Thy must bitch-slap Scarlet… Constantly…


	5. Vincent Shmexy man

_A.N: Vincent is obviously my most favorite character, so, i had to make some parts slightly special. I might do Aerith next, even though i don't fancy her too much. She i still a character. I might need some help with her commandments. Just PM me if you have something.  
_

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The Ten Commandments of: Vincent (Shmexy Man)

1.Thou must have smexy long raven colored hair.

2.Thy must wear the same cloak for 30 years (roughly).

3.Thy must be dramatic whilst shooting things, and after the battle.

4.Thou must swish thy smexy cape alot.

5.Thy must not understand present events because the past has tarnished thy view.

6.Thou must obsess over a demented dead science chick.

7.Thou must not show any emotions.

8.Thou must help Yuffie in her time of need, even if it was her fault that the problem occurred.

9.Thou may fail to shower after fighting through Nibelheim sewers.

10.Thou must thirst for redemption.

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_ I'm__ actually quite surprised that i am not dead of writing today...Yet... I have nothing to say besides the fact that i just wrestled a toy poodle, lol. I love my dog Emily so much, even if she can be evil (who isn't at some point). Ahh, tired... I should sleep soon, but i won't because i have to read Inuyasha and some random fanfic's._


	6. Aerith

**_A.N:_**_ this one isn't quite as funny, i understand that. I'm not really an Aerith/Aeris fan. But i know that other people are, and she is a character, so i made her one. I think that i will do one for every FF7 character ever made, including people like Angeal, Genesis, Nero, Rosso, and yes, even Hojo. But i will be horribly bashing Hojo, since he hurt Vinnie!_

_Anyway... Before i lose any more of my sanity, here is Aerith_

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The Ten Commandments of: Aerith

1.Thy must hit on Cloud, even in front of Tifa.

2.Thou must be as great a listener as thy is a friend.

3.Thy must get Cloud to cross-dress, (that might be hard.)

4.Thy must escape from ShinRa, (over and over and over, etc.)

5.Thou must have two versions of her own name (Aeris sounds better.)

6.Thou must have a really, slow, and creepy voice, (at least in Kingdom Hearts.)

7.Thy must be willing to stand up for her friends and the planet, even if it means death to oneself.

8.Thou must know how to control Holy.

9.Thy must always wear pink, always.

10.Thy must help Cloud realize that he has to move on, and that his feelings for her were never actually true. They were never his because they had been Zack's.

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Thanks and please review,

_**Dirge**_


End file.
